How to Fail Chemistry

1.	Don't buy the text book until after the first test.
2.	Don't study the text book until after the second exam.
3.	Make sure you SKIP CLASS at least once a week. - Invent good excuses to give your instructor. - See your instructor if you need great-sounding excuses.
4.	DON'T TAKE NOTES in class. Don't even bring paper & pencil.
5.	On test day, leave your calculator and pencil at home
6.	If you study, be sure no one sees you doing it. STUDY ALONE!
7.	Do all studying in one day; don't spread out your study time. Study only when you feel like it.
8.	Sign up for more classes than you can handle, then drop the one that actually require you to work (like Chemistry).
9.	SKIP LAB at least the two time you're allowed--that'll drop you at least a letter grade
10.	When you go to lab, be sure you haven't read the experiment, then tell the instructor you couldn't do the advance study assignments because the questions were too hard.
11.	Never do your own homework. If you feel compelled to hand something in, make a photocopy of someone else's.
12.	Learn to smoke if you don't already. Then be sure to puff away before each test.
13.	Skip the first exam. The make-up exam will be a breeze anyway (in your dreams).
14.	NEVER EVER go see your instructor if you don't understand.
15.	Assume you won't pass, so there's no need to exert any effort. Just plan to withdraw when the going gets rough.